First Time Using a Dildo? Beginner’s Guide
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Trying a dildo for the first time can be both exciting and a little intimidating — and that's completely normal. Whether you're exploring solo pleasure or introducing a new element into partnered intimacy, taking this step is all about discovering what feels good for you.
At Pillowside Play, we believe that first experiences should be guided, comfortable, and full of curiosity — not confusion. This beginner’s guide will walk you through how to choose the right dildo based on size, material, and design, and how to use it with confidence and ease. We'll also cover tips on lube, cleaning, and how to listen to your body along the way.
Whether you're looking for something slim and soft to start with or just want to explore at your own pace, we’re here to help you make your first experience not only smooth and safe, but genuinely pleasurable — and maybe even unforgettable.
Choosing the Best Dildo for Beginners
When selecting your first dildo, consider these key factors to ensure the best experience:
1. Size Matters – Start Small and Comfortable
For first-time users, a beginner-friendly dildo is key. A small, slim dildo with a moderate girth is ideal for comfortable insertion and a pleasurable experience. If you’re using a penis toy for the first time, starting small helps your body adjust without discomfort.
2. Material – Body-Safe Silicone for the Best Experience
A high-quality silicone dildo is the safest and most enjoyable option. Liquid silicone dildos provide an ultra-realistic feel, are non-toxic, and easy to clean. Avoid cheap materials that may contain harmful chemicals.
3. Realistic Dildo – The Ultimate Natural Experience
A realistic dildo is designed to replicate the look and feel of a natural penis, offering a lifelike experience that enhances arousal and immersion. These dildos are crafted with intricate details such as prominent veins, a sculpted head, and dual-layer silicone that mimics the softness of real skin while maintaining a firm inner core for optimal penetration.
- Ultra-Realistic Skin Texture: High-quality dual-layer liquid silicone creates a soft outer surface that feels just like real skin. The inner core provides firmness for stability and deeper pleasure.
- Prominent Veins for Extra Sensation: The raised veins along the shaft add subtle stimulation, heightening pleasure with every movement.
- Hand-Sculpted Details: Realistic dildos feature carefully crafted shapes that mimic a natural erection, from the contoured shaft to the tapered tip.
- Perfect for Solo and Partner Play: Whether you're using it alone or with a partner, a realistic dildo offers an intimate, true-to-life experience that can enhance your connection and enjoyment.
4. Flexible Yet Firm – The Perfect Balance
The best dildos strike a perfect balance between softness and structure. A flexible shaft adapts to your movements for greater comfort, while just the right amount of firmness ensures deep, satisfying penetration and reliable control during use.
5. Suction Cup and Strap-On Compatibility
For hands-free fun, suction cup dildos can be mounted on any smooth surface—perfect for experimenting with angles and positions. If you're exploring partner play, a strap-on compatible dildo offers exciting possibilities for shared pleasure, pegging, or role reversal. Choose a dildo with a flared base to ensure both suction and harness compatibility.
Preparing for Your First Dildo Experience
Now that you've chosen your first dildo, follow these essential steps to ensure an amazing first-time experience:
1. Set the Mood and Relax
Creating the right atmosphere can make all the difference. Whether you're using a women’s sex toy solo or with a partner, take time to set the scene. Dim the lights, play soft music, and let go of distractions. Feeling safe, relaxed, and aroused helps your body open up to deeper sensations — turning your experience from routine to truly indulgent..
2. Foreplay Enhances the Experience
Take your time—foreplay helps your body relax, boosts arousal, and increases natural lubrication for more comfortable insertion. Try using a clitoral vibrator, nipple play, or other sex toys alongside your dildo to build anticipation and heighten sensitivity. Whether solo or with a partner, thoughtful foreplay can turn a good session into an unforgettable one.
3. Use Plenty of Lube
Lubrication makes everything better—especially when you're just starting out. A high-quality water-based lube is essential for smooth, comfortable penetration and is completely safe to use with silicone dildos. It helps reduce friction, prevents irritation, and is especially important for anal play, where natural lubrication is limited. Don’t be shy—when it comes to lube, more is always better.
How to Use a Dildo for Maximum Pleasure
1. Take It Slow
Ease into the experience by starting with gentle, controlled movements. Go at your own pace—there’s no rush. A dildo should enhance pleasure, never cause pain. Take time to relax, breathe deeply, and let your body gradually adjust. The more comfortable you are, the more enjoyable the experience will be..
2. Explore Angles and Positions
Don’t be afraid to experiment — finding the right angle or position can make all the difference. For G-spot stimulation, try tilting the dildo upward toward your belly button to target the sensitive inner wall. For anal play, go slow, use plenty of lube, and focus on relaxing your body. Whether you're lying down, on all fours, or straddling a suction base, exploring different angles helps you discover what feels most satisfying and comfortable..
3. Try Hands-Free Fun with a Suction Cup Dildo
Suction cup dildos offer the freedom to explore in new ways — just mount them onto any smooth, flat surface like bathroom tiles, a chair, or even the edge of your tub. Perfect for solo sessions or partner play, they let you enjoy hands-free stimulation at your own pace and angle. Whether you're experimenting with new positions or craving deeper thrusting, suction cup dildos add stability, intensity, and spontaneity to your experience.
4. Partner Play – Enhance Intimacy
Strap-on kits are a great way to explore shared pleasure with a partner, whether you're giving, receiving, or switching roles. They can introduce new sensations, deepen emotional connection, and add exciting variety to your sex life. From pegging to power play, using a dildo together encourages trust, communication, and intimate discovery — making every encounter more connected and unforgettable.
Post-Play: Cleaning and Storage
1. Cleaning Your Dildo
Always clean your dildo both before and after use using warm water and a mild, body-safe toy cleaner. This helps prevent the buildup of bacteria and keeps your toy safe, hygienic, and ready for next time. For silicone dildos, avoid harsh soaps or alcohol-based products that may damage the material.
2. Proper Storage
Store your dildo in a clean, dry place, ideally in a soft storage pouch to protect it from dust, lint, and bacteria. Avoid direct sunlight and extreme temperatures. For silicone toys, store them separately — contact with other silicone products can cause material breakdown over time.
FAQs for First-Time Dildo Users
Q: Can I use a dildo if I’m a complete beginner?
Absolutely! Start with a small, beginner-friendly dildo and explore at your own pace.
Q: What type of lube should I use with a silicone dildo?
A water-based lubricant is best—it’s safe for Liquid silicone dildos and easy to clean.
Q: How do I know if I’m using my dildo correctly?
If it feels comfortable and pleasurable, you’re doing it right! Experiment to discover what works best for your body.
Ready to Explore?
Now that you know how to get started, it’s time to find the perfect beginner dildo! Browse our best beginner dildos and discover the perfect fit for your desires.
